In the Essence
by xfirexfalconx
Summary: NarakuxKikyou, antiInuKag. A songfic series. My first attempt. If you hate Naraku, you hate Kikyou, or you hate the idea of them being together...run away. All song lyrics are by Evanescance. R&R! Rated M for language and final chapter. FINISHED!
1. Goodnight

Her maple eyes watched from the trees, black hair curling around her body like the shadows. The trees whispered to Lady Kikyou the words of her one-time lover, carrying his words to her awaiting ears. Inuyasha was so wrapped up with his pet, Kagome, he never even knew she was there.

"Of course I love you, Kagome...Kikyou is only a shade of who you are...never doubt that it's you I love, got it?"

She didn't need to hear any more. The miko stood, turning her back to them, and fighting the stinging in her eyes. No crying, she thought fiercly. It's not like she didn't know...

"From priestess to spy," a velvety voice murmured from the darkness. "How amusing."

Kikyou turned her head to look at Naraku directly. "It's none of your buisness," she snapped, though her voice broke on the last word, and two small streams decended upon her cheeks.

He watched her cry, moving from his perch on a higher branch to hers, his anger towards her fading into a familiar and hated sadness. His crimson gaze shifted from her, back towards the scene from which she had come. The wind still carried the silver-haired hanyou's sweet whisperings to his newest romance. It made him sick.

_Goodnight, sleep tight, No more tears... In the morning I'll be here._

"Kikyou..." Naraku said quietly, his hand reaching to touch her stained cheek. She slapped his hand away, and lept to the ground, walking towards the darkness of the forest.

The young girl rubbed her cheek...she could still feel his touch. A mix of disgust and longing stabbed through her. It was hopeless. It always would be. She stopped, her bare feet cold against the dew-soaked grass, and she glanced back over her shoulder.

_And when we say goodnight, Dry your eyes..._

"Naraku..." Kikyou started, hesitantly.

"Yes?"

She opened her mouth, then sighed, wiping the tears off her face. "Never mind...goodnight."

_Because we said goodnight, And not goodbye..._

He watched her turn, and disappear into the trees. "...Goodnight..."

_We said goodnight... And not goodbye._

* * *

My first attempt at a SongFic series. Please don't kill me. Also, pleaaaase review! The green faery will love you if you do. :P Lyrics belong to Evanescence, "Goodnight." Until later!


	2. Farther Away

Naraku lay in the castle, staring at the ceiling. How had it ever gotten this way? He was certain that when he'd forsaken his humanity, he had forsaken the emotions as well...but no. They plauged him, like a dream that wouldn't go away. Her face was still in his mind, her touch, her voice...

_I took their smiles and I made them mine...  
I sold my soul just to hide the light..._

But she never had loved him. Or...had she? Naraku turned in his bed, irritated by these memories. Kikyou had only loved that half-bred mongrel. He had given himself to the darkness, thinking she would turn her gaze back to him...or if it didn't, it would at least get rid of that blasted human desire. It didn't work, on either account...so he took their happiness and made it hell. But...

_And now I see what I really am,  
A thief, a whore, and a liar_...

It was never the plan to kill her. Kikyou wasn't supposed to have died...

_I run to you,  
Call out your name,  
I see you there, farther away..._

Naraku stood, walking to the castle window. Fifty years passed...and she returned. Grimicing, he rubbed his chest with the palm of his hand, almost unconciously. So had the feelings for her...all those years...but it had been twisted, from passion to a bitter anger. If only she had chosen him, it wouldn't have had to go that far...!

_I'm numb to you - numb and deaf and blind...  
You give me all, but the reason why.  
I reach but I feel only air at night.  
Not you, not love, just nothing..._

She hadn't been out of the grave five seconds before that wretched mutt staked his heart on her again. What did the pup think, he could have both the miko and her incarnated half? Naraku's hand clenched, his claws dragging bloody, jagged marks into his skin. And she...that raven-haired priestess...hated InuYasha with as much passion as Naraku had hated them both. Oh, it could have been the pairing of the century...Kikyou and he, possesors of the Shikon no Tama, ruling Japan...together...

_I run to you,  
Call out your name,  
I see you there, farther away..._

And the damned girl went and fell for InuYasha. Again.

_Try to forget you,  
But without you I feel nothing.  
Don't leave me here, by myself.  
_

_I can't breathe.  
I run to you,  
Call out your name,  
I see you there, farther away._

He chose the other wench. The mutt stole back her heart, only to stop on it. Naraku growled, turning from the window. But why! Why did he care what happened to Kikyou! She had chosen this for herself...why was he even caring...it would stop. Tonight. Naraku was through with it. All she brought him was pain...He slipped back into the bed, and closed his eyes. Maybe tomorrow, he would destroy her for good.

All he could see was her tear-stained face.

_I run to you,  
Call out your name,  
I see you there, farther away,  
Farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away,  
farther away..._


	3. I Must Be Crazy

Kikyou sat in the tree, her knees drawn up to her chest, and her face buried into her clothing as she wept.

_How many times have you told me you love her...?  
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth...  
How long have I stood here beside you...?  
I live through you.  
You looked through me..._

Why hadn't she forgotten him? Hope had somehow weasled its way into her heart, and it had only served to weaken and destroy her...But now, the hatred had returned. Not because she thought he had been the one to kill her; she had long ago know the truth to that. She hated him for not loving her...for leaving her alone, after all he had said...

_Ooh, Solitude,  
Still with me is only you...  
Ooh, Solitude,  
...I can't stay away from you..._

"If only I had let Naraku do his job," she muttered darkly. "If only..."

_How many times have I done this to myself?  
How long will it take before I see?  
When will this hole in my heart be mended?  
Who now is left alone but me...?_

Naraku. She lifted her head, and turned her red-rimmed eyes towards his castle, surprised that she was sitting almost within it's gates. Had she been this close to it all along, Kikyou wondered, and never known it? Or...somehow, had she come there...knowingly? Standing, she watched as the dawn slowly streched Her golden rays across the sky.

"No," Kikyou growled to herself. "I hate him. I want him dead. This is all his fault..."

_Ooh, Solitude,  
Forever me and forever you...  
Ooh, Solitude,  
Only you, only true..._

The morning sun shimmered past the trees, and she frowned. Her hand went to her cheek again, and his voice entered her mind...Didn't he want her dead, too...? Didn't he hate her? They had tried to destroy one another since...Kikyou's brown eyes blinked slowly. Since she fell back in love with InuYasha...

_Everyone leaves me stranded...  
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind...  
I can't stay here another night..._

Her feet took a step towards the castle, but she drew back, snapping herself out of the wild thoughts that went through her mind. No...it wasn't possible that Naraku...

_Your secret admirer...  
Who could it be?_

Kikyou turned away. "Crazy. A crazy thought. I'm only using him to get the Shikon no Tama," she reminded herself. Gods, she detested the tremble in her tone.

_Ooh, Can't you see...  
All along it was me...  
How can you be so blind...  
As to see right through me..._

Again, for the second time within the course of the moon and sun, she looked back. Back to him.

_And Ooh, Solitude,  
Still with me is only you...  
Ooh, Solitude,  
I can't stay away from you..._

"I must be crazy."

She couldn't move.

_Ooh, Solitude,  
Forever me and forever you...  
Ooh, Solitude,  
Only you, only true..._


	4. Surrender to Me

Naraku stepped out of the castle, sensing her. What was the girl doing so close to his home? His feet were silent upon the soft dirt, and yet she heard him anyway, turning to look down on him from the tree.

"Don't bother," she muttered. "I was just leaving."

He blinked. "Was I asking you to go?"

Kikyou stared at him, and Naraku cursed his own words. Why in all the Hells had he said that?

_Is this real enough for you?  
You were so confused...  
Now that you've decided to stay...  
We'll remain together..._

Tilting her head, she hopped down from the tree and stepped closer to him, eyes narrowing. "You said nothing of the sort, but frankly I don't feel like having you try to kill me today. Oh, wait...that's right. You already DID kill me. I'm just back to be a little reminder that you're a fuck-up."

_You can't abandon me.  
You belong to me._

Her words stung, but rang true. Naraku drew foreward, until the were barely four feet apart. There was no fear in her eyes; only anger, and...what else? Something...

"You're right," he said simply, sarcasm tainting his next words. "As usual."

The two watched one another, and a look of doubt came over the miko. You could kill her, a voice in his mind hissed, kill her now. But he searched for the hatred, the murderous rage he once possessed. It was nowhere to be found. His heart was weakening to her again, and he could only curse himself...

_Breathe in and take my life in you,  
No longer myself, only you...  
There's no escaping me, my love.  
Surrender..._

"I regret it, you know," Naraku added, his gaze looking towards the sunrise.

Kikyou followed his eyes, then looked back at him. "Then why?" she asked softly. The voice that slayed the darkness. "Why do you keep trying to kill me?"

She couldn't move, even as he closed the last few feet between them. Her feet were frozen, and her eyes couldn't tear from his...She was trapped by her enemy. Her heart was pounding, and he could hear it.

_Darling, there's no sense in running...  
You know I will find you.  
Everything is perfect now,  
We can live forever..._

"Because," he murmured, brushing a lock of her hair from her face. "I couldn't have you...You didn't want me..."

"You're an evil, manipulative killer," she whispered, commanding her voice to be steady. "You're full of your preverted, vile passions. You do not love me."

_You can't abandon me.  
You belong to me._

A low, feral purr rumbled past his lips and turned into a low chuckle as he leaned closer, tilting her chin up to face him. "I only deny one of those things; can you guess which?"

Her eyes flashed, and suddenly his lips took hers in a violent kiss, his mind going numb to common sense. Kikyou let out a muffled cry, pushing him away and stepping back, her eyes blazing. Even he moved backwards, surprised at his own action.

Naraku did not see her hands and body, trembling.

_Breathe in and take my life in you...  
No longer myself, only you.  
There's no escaping me, my love.  
Surrender..._

He only saw her turn, hair flying behind her as she ran into the woods, like a sprite's phantom. He only saw the empty spot where she had stood, finally...briefly...within his grasp. The same emptiness in his soul.

"She will come back to me," Naraku said to the air, voice flat. "...Someday..."

_Breathe in and take my life in you...  
No longer myself, only you...  
There's no escaping me, my love...  
Surrender..._


	5. My Only Love

He kissed her...and she...

Kikyou stopped running, her chest heaving as she tried to breathe. A nearby boulder provided support, and she leaned on it, body still shaking. What was wrong with her? Flippantly, she tried to convince herself that it was because she'd refused her soul-collectors these last two days. That she was mearly energy deprived...

She'd go to that pond. That lovely place, where she had once met with InuYasha...Kikyou stood, walking slowly, as if to avoid jarring a tender wound. Her spirit beasts swirled around her, offering her blue orbs of life...and she refused. It was mid-day almost, and though the priestess was worn from running for so long, she wanted the pain that being deprived brought her...it made her real.

"What a beautiful place..."

No. No, no no...not in her sacred place...Kikyou froze. The all-too familiar voice...one that was like her own...her heart fell as she walked on. She wasn't going to hide, this time, even though she was too afraid of what she would find. Despite it all...she wasn't prepared for what her eyes saw.

Kagome. And InuYasha. Together.

Naked.

"Well," Kikyou managed to choke out. "I'm glad you to have explored the joys of the opposite sex."

InuYasha jumped, the cold, calm voice slashing through his mind. "Kikyou!"

"What is SHE doing here?" Kagome asked, looking angry and embarressed.

"I could ask you the same thing. But it's already painfully obvious," the miko replied, voice tainted with malice. She turned, and began to walk away.

"WAIT!" he yelled. "It's...I...Kikyou...I can explain..."

_I can't run anymore...  
I fall before you.  
Here I am...  
I have nothing left.  
Though I've tried to forget,  
You're all that I am...  
Take me home,  
I'm through fighting it..._

"Naraku," she whispered as she bolted from the scene. "Seems like...I'll be back...sooner than you expected..."

She heard InuYasha's call. It meant nothing to her...not now. No longer, and never again would it mean a thing. For too long she had hoped, had prayed and longed that he would choose her...It had been a waste. She knew what she had to do...

_Broken,  
Lifeless,  
I give up...  
You're my only strength,  
Without you  
I can't go on...  
Anymore...  
Ever again..._

The tree zoomed by, blending together in a tapestry of light and darkness. Light...and Darkness...two halves to the same whole. Even Nature was driving her foreward. For a moment, hesitation slowed her, but the thought of Kagome and InuYasha...kissing, holding, whatever else...killed the idea before it took hold.

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love..._

He would pay. The dirty rat would pay for his trechery...Kikyou felt her head pounding as she ran, felt her vision swimming. The soul-collecters, for so long her only comapnions, raced around her, crying out in protest. She needed their energy...but a different need kept her going.

_I can't run anymore,  
I give myself to you...  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry...  
In all my bitterness,  
I ignored  
All that's real and true,  
All I need is you..._

The castle...the castle...so close...night was beginning. Had she run so far? And only to return again...

"Kikyou?"

Ah, that voice! Forked-tongue shapeshifter who had spoken the truth! If only she had listened, for once...for once...

_When night falls on me,  
I'll not close my eyes.  
I'm too alive,  
And you're too strong...  
I can't lie anymore...  
I fall down before you...  
I'm sorry,  
I'm sorry..._

Her eyesight was failing her as she stumbled past his barrier...no--he had lowered it. Strong arms caught her as she fell to her knees, holding her as she shook with sobs.

"He promised that he loved me...!" she cried, clinging to Naraku. "Her...and him...they were..."

Naraku's eyes closed as he listened, anger rolling beneath his mask of calm. When finally, her heavy sobbing subsided into a soft weeping, he stroked her hair and held her tight against his chest. Kikyou buried her cheek against him, shaking.

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love._

"I could tell you that I told you so," he sighed into her ear, resting his chin on the top of her head.

Kikyou's hands clenched into fists, and she made a small, whimpering growl. So badly she wanted to spit a witty retort, a stinging joke or even some insult...all died on her tongue. It was impossible, here in his arms.

_Constantly ignoring  
The pain consuming me...  
But this time it's cut too deep..._

"But it seems that all I can tell you...is welcome home."

_...I'll never stray again._

The soul-collectors finally won their wish, as a small smile graced her expression. Tilting her head up, their gazes locked as her body glowed with the saoft blue of renewed life. Kikyou placed her hand on his cheek, gently kissing him as power flooded through her veins.

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love..._

Naraku's mind swam as she took over his soul, the defence around his heart dissipating. He leaned back against the nearby castle wall, smirking with triumph as pulled back, straddling his abdomen and looking him in the eyes.

"So. Truce?" she asked, grinning slyly.

Naraku returned the look. After all...What could any man, mortal or not, say to that?

_My only hope,  
(All the times I've tried)  
My only peace,  
(To walk away from you)  
My only joy,  
My only strength,  
(I fall into your abounding grace)  
My only power,  
My only life,  
(And love is where I am)  
My only love._

* * *

Oohlala. What's going to happen next! -wicked grin- Review, then read on! Pay homage to the FanFic gods. ;P


	6. I Must Be Dreaming

Naraku opened his eyes. It was sunset, and the sky was streaked with dark blues, pinks and golds. The girl in his arms stirred, murmuring in her sleep. He stroked Kikyou's bare chest, shifting a bit in the warm bed. The miko had fainted from exhaustion shortly after they had agreed to stop their fighting.

"Mmm...what time is it?" she yawned, rubbing her face as she awoke.

"Almost nightfall."

Kikyou glanced up at him, hearing the husky tone in his voice. Two things became apparent, very quickly. She was naked, and in his bed. Oddly, neither seemed to bother her half as much as they probably should. It also occured to her that, in all her life (lives?), she had never been this close to anyone...especially a man. He laughed quietly as her cheeks flushed.

With a slight smile, Naraku rolled out of the bed, an idea entering his mind. "Get up. I'm going to take you somewhere."

"W-what?" she stammered, looking at the ground. Please gods, she thought rapidly, tell me he's not n--

His hand took hers, dragging her from the covers and to her feet. "Here," he said, holding out a dark green kimono.

After a few minutes, she'd managed to get it on, and adjust it to fit her body. Kikyou had also found the guts to look up, at Naraku. To her relief...and slight disappointment...he was properly dressed, and ready to go.

"Guide the way, oh fearless leader," Kikyou teased, keeping close to him as he led the way outside the castle.

He smirked, giving her a sidelong glance. "Does InuYasha usually wait by that dried up old well?"

"Do you mean the thing in the forest or Kagome?"

Naraku stopped, staring at her, before laughing. "Ehh, the forest," he snickered.

"Yes. Usually when his pet goes back to her own world. Why do you ask...?"

The demon only smiled, and kept walking. They fell into silence, walking deeper into the quickly darkening woods. About fifteen minutes later, they stood at the edge of the clearing. Kikyou opened her mouth to ask him again, but he placed his hand gently over her mouth, shaking his head and drawing her closer to him.

"Do you want revenge?" he whispered to her, an amused tone in his voice.

She nodded.

"Do you trust me?"

Kikyou paused, but remained silent. A few heartbeats passed, before she nodded again, less sure this time. I want to, she thought. But what on Earth was he planning?

Smiling again, this time with a hint of mischeif, Naraku slid off his kimono top. Kikyou's mouth dropped open for a moment, taking in the sight of his well-toned chest, before snapping it shut again. He held out his hand, and knowing full well now what he intended, she hesitated. Could she do this...? What would become of the Shikon no Tama if...ah, screw it.

Taking a breath, she clasped her hand with his, and he led her out into the open. This was it...her revenge. THEIR revenge...and a new beginning. Naraku watched the fading light dance in her eyes. How long had he waited for this day...? They both smiled, and he stopped once they were in the middle of the clearing, by the well. Looking slightly up into the treelines, he noticed a slight silver flash. Kikyou glanced from the trees to him. They both knew it could only be InuYasha.

_How can I pretend that I don't see  
What you hide so carelessly? _

Slowly, Naraku reached out, taking her hair from it's ponytail. "You're free now," he said, his eyes softening. "...Are you sure this is what you want? There is no going back."

Her hand ran over his shoulders, and she laughed when he shivered. "I have no desire to go back."

Murring, he ran his hands down her sides, untying the kimono's obi and sliding it from her body. With the soft starlight on her kin, she looked like a carved, marble goddess. Kikyou smiled, her hand trailing down his back...noting the spider scar with a coy smirk... as she did the same. He leaned down to kiss her as they softly embraced, their bodies touched by the cool, twilight winds. Carefully, he lowered them both to the ground. Kikyou was shaking slightly...but there was a look of joy in her eyes. How he had longed to be the reason for that joy...and finally...

"I've never..." Kikyou paused, looking embarressed. "You know..."

Naraku stroked her neck. "I'm honored."

"You better be," she joked, not able to hide a small, nervous laugh.

His looked to the treeline. A flash of red, and golden eyes...he could see the hanyou's shadowy form...he could sense his hate. Looking back to Kikyou, he kissed her again, and took her.

_I saw her bleed...  
You heard me breathe,  
And I froze inside myself,  
And turned away.  
I must be dreaming...  
_

InuYasha turned his head, feeling sick. The bastard...the evil bastard.

_We all live,  
We all die.  
That does not begin to justify you._

She was supposed to have belonged to him. Not to Naraku. What kind of twisted, demented world was that...?

_It's not what it seems,  
Not what you think...  
No I must be dreaming.  
It's only in my mind...  
Not in real life,  
No I must be dreaming...  
_

...One where he didn't exist.

_Hell, you know I've got to tell someone...  
Tell them what I know you've done...  
I fear you... but spoken fears can come true._

His eyes turned back. He saw their bodies, preforming the dance as old as time itself. And he was jealous.

_We all live,  
We all die,  
That does not begin to justify you._

InuYasha felt the rage inside him boil. Naraku had looked right at him...he knew what he was doing. So did she. It was on purpose...it was planned. Well, Naraku old boy, he though bitterly, it worked. You got what you wanted...

Kikyou closed her eyes, giving into Naraku's longheld lust. Why did this, this merging with her enemy...feel so right? A pale, purple glow radiated off their bodies, and he nearly halted from worry, but Kikyou kissed him.

"The Shikon shards in our bodies...they're reacting..."

_It's not what it seems,  
Not what you think,  
No, I must be dreaming...  
It's only in my mind,  
Not in real life,  
No I must be dreaming..._

Feeling a stab of horror, InuYasha watched the purple glow become brighter around them...the power of the shards was being activated by...their love? It couldn't be...she loved that monster...

_Not what it seems,  
Not what you think,  
I must be dreaming..._

And the devil loved her._  
_

InuYasha turned away, his heart heavy as a brilliant flash of light engulfed the clearing...his fate, and the end of his relationship with Kikyou...was sealed.

_Not what it seems...  
Not what you think...  
...I must be dreaming..._

_...Just in my mind...  
...Not in real life...  
_

Naraku held Kikyou close, eyes closing, tired. She was nestled beside him, humming an ancient Japanese song. Such beauty...Finally, things were going as they should always been...True, she held the final jewel shard...but he didn't need it; the power he had felt not minutes before was confirmation of that. If they were in harmony, so were the shards...and they were very much in harmony.

"Hmm, I don't wanna wake up," she said, growling playfully, tugging at his hair.

He laughed, kissing her throat. "What do you mean?"

"For anything to be this good?"

"What about it?"

She smiled. "_I must be dreaming."_


End file.
